I am restless and there’s this pent up energy that’s been building up inside ever since I last spoke to my friends. About the middle-aged guy who jumped in front of the train tracks to kill himself, that nameless person who had 16 bucks in his wallet and a $37,000 debt, his $8,000 electricity bills and his struggles in his life. He has attained cult status and is an icon now. The icon of the underbelly of Singapore society perhaps, the poor that we conveniently forget or refuse to see or acknowledge. Or deemed as the ‘sadder class’. I don’t know.

The outpouring of public sympathy shows that we’re not an uncaring lot, but others raise questions as to why should people donate. He’s a selfish jerk, he let his family be saddled with even more debts of funeral expenses. I mean, please, it’s not cheap to die. You have to have a coffin at least, no? And plus, he stopped the train service. People were delayed in their schedules, it affects others, damn it. Can’t he have died quietly and in anonymity? And his family is rewarded with half a million dollars now, and all for this morally depraved act. Won’t it encourage copycat cases? Won’t it spin off into a series of let’s-all-kill-ourselves-and-our-families-will-stand-to-gain cases? It’s a bad example. So don’t donate. Don’t understand the people who donate, why are they rewarding bad behaviour?

The callousness of it all stunned me. A human life was gone and people were just going on about how in death, he continues to be a burden to society, to his family and so on. I mean, maybe that’s why he decided to off himself. I don’t want to go into the morality of suicide, it is a difficult topic and I don’t like to discuss it. It’s too easy to say that your life is your own and doesn’t affect others so you can off yourself if you feel like it. I do think it’s selfish at the end of the day, but he’s entitled to do it. He should have the right to do it. People affect others no matter what you do, and sometimes it can’t be helped. I sure as hell hope that no one close to me does it, but hey, sometimes things can’t be helped.

What is his family going to do with all that money? Won’t money corrupt these simple folks? What is going to happen now? Will they spend it wisely? Why did they have kids if they know they’re going to go hungry? What’s wrong with them? What’s wrong with the people who donate to them? Aren’t we the society that rewards success and slams failure? What’s wrong with us?

 And as we sat there talking about these issues over dinner, I gradually lost my appetite. I don’t feel like putting anything into my mouth, chewing and then swallowing. I was just turned off by how we don’t seem to accept human weakness. That guy is desperate. He’s just desperate, can’t we understand that? Wasn’t it understandable? It depresses me, the whole event, the whole thing, can’t get my mind off it, and don’t want to really talk about it. Just leave him in peace.

2 Responses to “”
  1. Nick says:

    And that’s what train tracks are for.

  2. farnie says:

    Oh yes, of course… different uses for different people, depends on which level you want to interpret train tracks.

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