snippets

There are times when there’s a burst of inspiration and suddenly my fingers start having a life of their own at the keyboard and the words just flow out without me having even thought of them before. These are moments when I bang away at my keyboard and vent of all my frustrations and pent up emotion and let loose on the world exactly what I think about it. Not that it makes a difference to the world, the motive is purely selfish, I just need to say what I need to say.

First up, I think Joseph Heller is a genius. Too bad he died in 1999 because I’d really love to meet him. His books crack me up and the topics he focuses on are topics that are very close to my heart. His wit and humour makes reading on the train slightly embarrassing because there I’d be, in a corner of the train with stony faced people all around me and I’d suddenly start grinning and suppressing my laughter due to something funny I’ve read. Boy, I wish I can write like him. I’m reading God Knows, one of his lesser known books after Catch-22 and Closing Time, the sequel to it. It’s about the story of King David from a first person narrative. Funny as hell. I love all the biblical references and the life he injects into well-known stories.

Kinokuniya and Borders should have his entire collection (preferably all in the same series with similar covers that makes buying books and starting a collection so satisfying).

Ok, actually that’s all I have to say. It’s time to rest. The non-wakening period begins.

NYE

The New Year beckons. A brand new 2008 with no mistakes in it. The proverbial clean slate, and all within the next 24 hours. As you get older, the years slip past and it’s harder to keep track of the days. There are parts of the day when you sleep and then there’s the rest of it when you hustle and bustle it away. One entire life span can be divided in this way, the wakening hours and the non wakening ones.

Right now I want to enter into the non-wakening time zone but am thwarted from my sleep by angry thoughts that bubble to the surface of my already exhausted mind. I want to sleep, I do really, but then, I get so angry thinking about stuff that I can’t sleep. Even though I’ve already made a conscious choice to not think about it. That’s the thing about that in-between state of mind, your brain doesn’t really listen to you.

But yeah, I shouldn’t allow myself to get so mad, I should simply detach and elevate my soul / emotional being into another plane of existence. One where things don’t matter, and I see things through the macro lens of eternity. And then things don’t matter. Lack of money doesn’t matter, lack of clothes doesn’t matter. Polish or rather more accurately, lack of polish does not matter. Time and chance happen to us all.

If one refuses to be a victim, to do something about their lives. One would be infinitely better off, obtain the desired improvement in one’s quality of life and get on with the program. One wouldn’t resent other’s improvement but think that they can do it too. Life’s better for one and all.

Perhaps the next big thing to overcome is insecurity. Insecurity about oneself can make one a cantankerous person that cannot be lived with without exhausting another’s store of patience and kindness. “I know where I come from and where I’m going.” That’s perhaps sums up the way of perfect security, perfect comfort in one’s own skin. To know where you come from and where you’re going solves the better part of life’s problems in my opinion.