this bitter pill

My hacking and gagging cough is irritating me to no end. I dun really trust the doctor meds. Seriously, his antibiotics make me have the runs twice. There has got to be something wrong with his prescription. My state of delirium will end soon. The cold lecture theatres, seminar rooms, cafeteria and lifts beckon. Seriously, everything is air-conditioned. It’s like we’re insular from the outer environs, it doesn’t matter what happens on the outside, come rain or shine, hell or high water, the law building will maintain this temperature always. There you have it, your anchor and constancy in life. It becomes a bitch at times, trust me.

*coughs*

Now I sound like those grouchy grandmothers, complaining about a thousand and one things. How the world has done her an injustice. Being whiny at that age just isn’t pretty. But anyhow, I’m no grandmother, and I have to say that I feel like I’m coughing my internal organs out one by one. Or at least, I’m trying to. So I try to spread the love around, and seriously, I’ve noticed a pattern in classes today. Cough once, and it starts off a sporadic symphony of little coughs as well. It’s as if people are being polite and saying, ‘it’s okie, I have a cough too.’ Haha, it’s what keeps me amused in classes like insolvency. Liquidate with extreme prejudice! Whatever that means. It didn’t even come from that class.

whee…!

And that was how the shopping trip went today, in a buzz and blur. It was a very productive trip, thanks to my shopping khakis, Lynn, Jill and her friend, Sarah. Zhu came to join us later in town. I was educated today on the multi-billion dollar cosmetics industry, the conglomerates and how, despite the price difference, there does not necessary translate to a better product quality in the various brands if they belong to the same conglomerate. Cos they simply pass the technology down to the cheaper brands after some time.

Bought 2 pairs of shoes, a make-up set and a dress. I particularly like the dress and my shoes. Very nice. Blew a hole in my wallet though, but yeah, like lynn says, invest! Lol. The most important thing is to actually use the make up and wear the clothes. I tend to buy things and not use nor wear them sometimes. Sometimes, it’s because of the hassle and I’m just lazy, others might be I find no occasion to wear it.  But I am a changed woman! I have reformed! I’m determined to make full use of my purchases! Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. And that’s why I spent so much money today. Hur hur.

SMU is starting another law school. Yes, the creative university that has created so much hype and has, within its campus, a camera every ten steps you walk. Not to mention the escalators. I am constantly jealous of the escalators. What is it going to do to NUS law school? All hail competition. Why not another medical school then? Why not another school of dentistry while we’re at it? Why law? Well, why not law? At least they don’t have to set up a different campus. Hm, I’ve learn in comparative competition law, that it’s not the structural competition that matters. It’s the amount of competition that actually counts. I.e. Structural competition refers to the number of competitors. So it doesn’t mean that just because there are more competitors, it naturally leads to more competition. You can have two corporations that hates one another’s guts and that can lead to an intense competition (i.e. price war) which cannot be achieved merely by increasing the number of corporations. So in the same way, increasing the number of law schools does not necessary translate to a better quality one through competition. But I don’t think SMU is in it for the sake of competition, it’s in it for business. They had one prominent law professor who shifted from NUS to SMU. There has to be a marginal transfer of the members of the law academia to SMU if it is to be viable. It’s interesting to see how things will turn out. As for me, I’m just glad that I’m not going to be affected. Get out of the system quick, before it seems to turn on me.

Through a glass, darkly

My computer is so slow, it’s driving me nuts. It’s not the usual kind of slow, let’s-wait-for-a-few- seconds kind of slow. No, it’s the let-me-go-to-toilet-and-wash-up-before-my-computer-loads kind of slow. These are vastly different in trying my patience. And I just typed a blog entry that disappeared when I clicked view site. Fantastic. Technology is not on my side today. I hope Technology is happy now.

I was blogging about how the girls played cards at my place till 2am today. We went to the prata place where the waiters never write down their orders and subsequently, never gets it right at the first time either. No, no paper and pen for them. They’ll do it by the usual trial and error method. Kudos. It makes them happy and the customers resigned. We played bridge, recounted episodes from our secondary school that seems to be so far away. We track our ex-classmates and find out where and what they are doing now. Okay, we gossiped a little as well. Nothing in malicious intent, just merely curious. All of us need to live vicariously at one point or another. Maybe that’s the whole point of gossip, not merely to quench an insane need to find out how your peers are doing, but to treat them as fodder for entertainment.

Anyways, day two in the spanking new bukit timah campus. It’s a nice place, there’s a hike from the bus stop to the new building. It’s still a work in progress, you can tell by the number of construction workers that are still around. And there you have it. 800 law students in this building. Hmm, can I just say that it is too close for comfort. I don’t know many law students, and I don’t like most of the law students that I know. So that leaves me with very little people that I am actually glad to see, in a building where you meet law students everywhere- lecture theatres, book store, cafeteria and in the washrooms.

It’s a strange phenomenon that I experience in law school but people don’t seem to remember me. It’s like I fade into oblivion when I am actually there. I feel sort of like Bruce Wilis in Sixth Sense– a ghost. It’s not a very nice feeling at that. I hate it when people who were in the same research project as you in year one can’t return a greeting when you say hi to them. But they just have a look like they’re trying to place you. Grr. I hate it. I also abhor it when people who slept in my dorm room in UBC can’t seem to remember me when others asked them if they know me. It’s like the chinese saying, wo chi bo li zhang da de. (for those who are not that well-versed in your mother tongue/mandarin, the direct translation is I grow up on glass, eating glass.) But anyhow. It infuriates me. Is there a scale in law school where people are divided into the significants and the not significants? Why is my presence not acknowledged or registered in people’s minds?

It’s irritating. So I don’t spent an hour in front of the looking glass, dressing up like I’m going to be on the runway when I’m actually attending lectures. So what?  

A lot of people hate law school. Some hate it for its lack of warmth, its superficiality. Others for its misconceived sense of elitism and entitlement. And me, I hate it because I am not seen in law school. It’s such a lovely way to start the day.

the slipping away of idle days

School is starting this week.There goes the lovely idle days of bumming around at home and having vcd marathons, staring at the computer or the television screen for extended periods of time. My last year in the glorified tertiary education institution of Singapore. I wonder whether it’ll be exactly the same as my other years in NUS. It’s odd, sometimes I feel like time has really slipped me by. Especially when I meet up with my secondary school friends and realise that we’ve been friends for almost *gasps* seven years. We were joking about celebrating our silver or golden anniversary or something. I have friends that I’ve known for so long, and I’m happy that we still keep in contact with each other. This is so for JC friends as well. NUS friends are considered relatively new. Heh.

On a more serious note, my toenail is falling off. I heard that toenails take some time to grow back. I am concerned.

I have finished watching all 13 vcds of Initial D. I’m slightly more motivated to learn driving. But much more motivated to rent the rest of the Initial D series. I was wondering whether the Japanese meant Ignition instead of Initial. Or maybe something was lost in translation. Cos aren’t initials the first letter of names? But then again, Initial D is likely to mean the First Drive. Loosely translated, most probably. And hey, it sounds much cooler than First D on any given day.

I tend to get a little guilty after binging on vcds shows. My inner voice chastens me that life is not meant to be spent sitting passively in front of the television screen. It’s the unproductivity of it all that offends. But honestly, I’ll like to think it’s the respite before the storm. The storm being school. I shouldn’t have to justify my actions to myself. Funny.

Here’s to my metamorphorsis into a chao mugger. Hopefully all will go well with that transformation.

Not the Forever Friends post

I’ve been thinking about the whole friendship thing. It’s the holidays and some of us want to meet up in one way or another. Others are busy, busy, busy. Some just want to coop up at home, away from the frantic crowds that usually plague the streets of town whenever a public holiday or the weekends are round the corner. I know I’m like that sometimes.

I was joking with Damon who organised the JC chalet to a sorry turnout. I told him to just let it die, in a half-joking manner, to let the whole classmates thing fade away comfortably into the fuzzy and hazy memories of all of us. To let it remain in the past where it belongs. It’s not the best advice, but I thought I’ll just curb the enthusiasm that people get at times, to get back the feeling during JC where everything seems a little rosier perhaps. Less taxing. More fun. I don’t know.

And for people who have started working, meeting up becomes another ballgame altogether. When it becomes honestly difficult to sychronize schedules and whatnot. You name it. When people want to turn in early because they need that energy for the day after. And now that we’re all in the flower of youth, the significant other also takes a significant amount of time. So it becomes increasingly difficult. And I think that’s okay, to a certain extent. People do drift apart. How many of us even know or meet up with our best friends in primary school?

“I have lost friends. Some by death, some by sheer inability to cross the street.” Virginia Woolf.

And perhaps it’s not just a street. Distance becomes a real issue. To travel from the North to the East or West part of Singapore is not a pleasant experience when mrt trains can be very packed. It’s expensive too. Fares are increasing. Taxis are not that cheap. Or maybe it’s a geographical boundary. More friends are overseas, on exchange, internships, that occasional holiday. Technology helps but I think it remains impersonal. To tell your friend to read your blog to find out what has happened may be okay at times but I find it sorely lacking in personal warmth. That human contact that we all need once in a while.

So maybe we should all just go grab a cup of coffee and chill. Learn to take it easy even if not everyone can make it. It’s not personal.

monday mood swings

Monday.

Sleeping for eleven and a half hours makes getting up very difficult. Your limbs are kind of weak and your head spins with that slight familiar ache at the back of your brain. It’s not the best way to greet the day but it happens. I get up, go through the mechanical motions, feel my stomach still slightly bloated from the buffet the day before. The K Box buffet has the best sashimi ever! We (jill, chel and zhu) wolved down many a sashimi. Yep, and that’s when I contributed to the other blog: http://ilikedinosaurs.wordpress.com. And found that the price tag to happiness is $24– 4 hours of ktv and a buffet with good sashimi. =) It’s the little temporal pleasures of life.

It was a funny day for me, I was alternately moody, testy and hyper. Well, I went shopping in the afternoon with the secondary school gang with no particular purpose or aim in mind except to get chel’s present. It turned out to be quite difficult to accomplish. I wasn’t very into the whole shopping thing though. I was quite disinterested. Maybe cos it’s shopping for others and not for me. Oh well, selfish girl that I am. It was a short shopping trip. Most had to leave early to do other stuff (drive dad’s car, tuition and so on).

I actually bumped into Kaiyi and her friend after the grp trouped off home. They were shopping too. Ahh well, guess that’s not much to do in town other than that. I was in my hyper mood then. The audience became a little weary after a while.

I made my leave and went to the airport. Was chastised for being 15 mins late. Switched back to testy mood.

Caryn’s leaving Singapore for exchange. Was it Dublin? Denmark? Oops. I’m afraid I can’t quite remember. But we got her a soft toy and the poor thing was trying to lug her luggage to the plane with a lot of difficulty. I swear, she’s packing like she’s leaving Singapore for good. It was more like 5 months. But in a way, packing more gives one a better sense of security? The NYJC group turned out in full force (minus ting for her korean stint is still not over). I switched back to hyper mode in view of the appreciative audience (i.e. Amanda and her beau).

Got a lift from YS and shiuan to Chomp Chomp where we devoured a few plates of hokkien mee and argued over a trifling matter. With shiuan no less. I seldom argue with her, so it’s quite surprising to me that I actually did what I did. But ah well, was alternating between moods and was caught at a bad time. She was also tired from her work and stuff. So, not a good combination. But all’s well that ends well. We got over ourselves and moved on to other topics.

Went back home. Am here blogging. Trying to recall stuff. Write them down. Make sure that I record the things that I do. Make sure that I don’t forget this day. The day that comes once in a lifetime. Same as every other day.

new layout

I was bored and decided giving this tranquil layout a try. Can you feel the zen-ness of it all? Yeah, I do too. Diana, stop talking to yourself! Remember the psychosis poster! So there you have it, a new blog in all its glory and other blogs wandering lost and reader-less in cyberspace. The record of my life since secondary three, abandoned frequently and picked up again. I guess that can be said for most, and your children’s children might stumble upon it one day after you’re long dead and gone. They’d be surprised at the uncanny resemblance at your adolescent pangs and other growing pains in your life, with the image of their kindly grandmother/father shattered for good. They’d realise that you are human flesh and blood and not just a role in their lives that they play. And this will lead them onto the well-trodden path of postmodernism, blowing away all stereotypes and a sense of structure in their lives. They’d know that life is not meant to be carefully compartmentalised and organised that way. It’ll be quite the milestone in their lives.

Or maybe they’d just think that it was boring.

Anyway, enough about the random ramblings. School is starting soon, in a little less than 2 weeks. The new bukit timah campus beckons, in all its incompletion. I really don’t like to hear construction noises. I live in Singapore, that’s the constant background noise in this part of the world– upgrading, renovation, tearing down, building, maintenance, you name it. But I like the idea of it being near to my home so that I don’t have to squeeze with all those people vying for a place to sit, stand, breathe in bus 151.

I have nothing to say. And that’s why I stop blogging and start again. I don’t like to write about what I do and did not do today. A diary is not a recording of events, it’s yr personal thoughts. And my personal thoughts are personal, my life not an open exhibition. And that’s why this blogging business stumps me sometimes.

I love Keanu Reeves but…

Don’t watch The Lakehouse. There’s nothing that you’ll miss. I don’t know about the original Korean version, but watching that show yesterday was a waste of my money. The pace was slow, in a way that you can really feel it. The cast is pretty but both leads are past their prime and it shows. Not to mention that it’s slightly bizarre and irrational. I’m not saying that every movie has to be the epitome of reason but seriously, there were just too many logical gaps in the plot. Boy doesn’t really meet the girl from the future who changes his future (and effectively history). Plus, there’s the issue of the time-travelling dog.

But it was nice hanging out with Lynn, Jill and Zhu after the show. We sat down at the Singapore replica of glutton square and talked till abt 2.30am. It was fun just having supper and catching up. Of course, when the four of us get together, there’s always quite a bit of vicious gossip to pass around. *sinister laughter*

 Zhu: What’s your all-time favourite movie?

Jill: Jurassic Park

Lynn: But why?

Jill: Because I like dinosaurs.

And that was the quotable quote of the day. That child-like 5 year old reply. Awww… Lol. Due to this, we wanted to start a whole wordpress blog written along the lines of ‘what my friends said’. But we simply took too long to decide on a suitable name/address. Suffice to say, zhu was still discussing the address by the time we got home and logged on to msn. She’s persistent, that one. :D

On a different note, I saw this poster about the early detection of psychosis. There were a list of symptoms that reflect the early stages of psychosis. I became very worried after looking at the list because I happen to have a few of the symptoms. Among them were smiling and talking to yourself. Could it be? The early stages of psychosis? The poster adviced its readers to seek help early.

Grrr… I’m not crazy. Really lar.